He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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