dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
