That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
