I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
