I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
