I heard we made out
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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