I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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