drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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