I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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