in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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