i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
