i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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