ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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