Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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