But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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