I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
