This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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