So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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