chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
