So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
