I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
