Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize