At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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