Where did you get a picture of my penis
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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