R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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