cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
