I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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