if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
