is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
