Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
