i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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