Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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