how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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