I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize