Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
