never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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