the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
