is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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