There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
