I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
