if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
