i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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