I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
is that a dick in a sweater?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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