a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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