so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
