My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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