I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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