Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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