addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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