How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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