Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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