I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
