I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
