yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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