i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
