your room smells of hookers.
And success
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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