Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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