Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We left an ass print on the piano.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
