look no pants
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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