Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
