Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
