I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
