I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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