she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
